Librarians are Hot; Good Grammar is Hotter

Occasionally (oh who am I kidding?) when I've no time to blog, I point you in the direction of cool sites that will knock your socks off. Today I offer two great sites.

Direct your browsers to Awful Library Books, a goofy literary site where librarians post the worst books clogging their shelves. When you're done laughing it up, head over to Paul Brians's Common Errors page. Paul Brians is a no-nonsense professor with a PhD in comparative literature. In other words, he knows his shiz. I don't think you can spend time at his language errors site without having at least one ah-ha writerly moment. Go learn something, bloggies.

Good sites come to those who hyperlink. Found any literary sites worth sharing lately? Post 'em in the comments, please.

Vonnegut in a Box

1. Find a subject you care about.
2. Do not ramble, though.
3. Keep it simple.
4. Have the guts to cut.
5. Sound like yourself.
6. Say what you mean to say.
7. Pity the readers.

-Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Thanks Audrey Owen of Editor's Notes, who regularly sends writing advice and author's quotes to my inbox. Finding Kurt Vonnegut in my inbox is like a hickey from Kanicky (aka, a Hallmark card).

How to Survive Drowning in a Sea of Rejection

I read blogs for all sorts of reasons:

• procrastinating
• research
• laughing
  
• motivation

I found this blog by a successful publisher the other day, and I wanted to blognap a quote from it and share. Some of you are querying in vain. Some of you hate your day job. Some of you have had horrible weeks and can't wait until 5PM so you can get slothy for 48 hours.

Some of you want to give up.

Well, this successful publisher dude gave some solid practical advice for how to talk yourself out of quitting. His words are simple yet genius:

"[W]hen Gail and I have a fight—yes, we do have fights—I ask, 'So why should I stay in this marriage?' Instead of pushing that question down like holding a beach ball under the water, I let it surface and embrace it. 'What is at stake?'

But notice: I’m not asking 'Why should I quit? because I will get answers to that question too. The mind is tricky that way. It will attempt to answer whatever question you ask it, so you must be very careful with how you frame the question. Instead, I focus on the positive. I am looking for reasons to keep going."

Got it?

Why should I keep going?

not

Why should I quit?

I'll help you get started. One reason I keep writing: because some stories hit me with a truth so big and obvious (yet not) that my heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chest, and I want to make other people feel that. What's one of your reasons?

The Latest Disease: Do you have it?

If you've ever been unemployed long enough to get into Dr. Phil, you know about body dysmorphia--a social disorder that makes people obsess about a perceived physical flaw. It's a "perceived" flaw because the flaw isn't nearly as horrendous as the perceiver thinks.

According to Wikipedia, the most freaked-about flaw in people who have body dysmorphia is acne. Wrong again, Wikipedia. Meet my new anxiety disorder (I have several. I collect them.):

Writing Dysmorphia

I have no friggin' clue if my writing is any good. How does one tell? Just this week, I've described my writing with one or more of the following adjectives:

crisp / stilted
funny / cheesy
gripping / WTF?

You know those people on American Idol? You know the ones! So confident they're going to blow the judges away, they open their mouths and we viewers are stuck between laughter and the immense guilt of watching someone's genuine dreams crushed on international television for our entertainment.

What if I'm one of those people?

Perusing the web-definitions of dysmorphia, I came across this tidbit:

"Body dysmorphic disorder interferes with functioning and may lead to social isolation..."

Oh my, yet another symptom I exhibit. While my friends hit the local hipster hangout, I lock myself in a tiny upstairs room à la Bertha Mason, deleting and re-entering commas, reading aloud, pacing. I am sick, y'all.

Writing brethren, two of my non-virtual writer friends tell me that writing dysmorphia is rampant. In fact, they say everyone has it. Is this true?

Do you have writing dysmorphia? Have you any idea whether your writing is good, bad, or fugly? How do you gain this objectivity? Cure me, peeps!

Found: Vocabulary

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day is a good one.

pabulum (noun)

1 : food; especially : a suspension or solution of nutrients in a state suitable for absorption
2 : intellectual sustenance
3 : something (as writing or speech) that is insipid, simplistic, or bland

I could use some pabulum (the #2 definition, not the #3--I have enough of that, thanks).

Found: People Braver Than Me

The coolest people in the world post their naked pictures at Bookworms with Ink. My picture will probably never be posted there because I change my mind too much and I dislike pain. Like a lot.

So here is my question for you: If you were going to get a literary tattoo, what would it be?

From: Feed

"'There's a forest,' said Violet. 'It's called Jefferson Park. We're thinking about going either there, or out to beef country.'

My dad nodded. 'It'll have to be beef country,' he said. 'The forest's gone.'

'Jefferson Park?'

He nodded, then squinted while he like clawed something from the roof of his mouth with his tongue. He told us, 'Yeah. Jefferson Park? Yeah. That was knocked down to make an air factory.'

'You're kidding,' said Violet.

'Yeah, that's what happened,' Dad said, shrugging. 'You got to have air.'

Violet pointed out, 'Trees make air,' which kind of worried me because I knew dad would think it was snotty.

My father stared at her for a long time. Then he said, 'Yeah. Sure. Do you know how inefficient trees are, next to an air factory?'"

Feed, by YA author M.T. Anderson, is like, super good. You need to go read it. Like now. Especially if you miss Kurt Vonnegut.

You digging anything special right now? Tell me what you're reading and loving.